I don't want to give too many details so as to avoid doxing myself. I never left the US and wouldn't have done so if asked, but fundamentally, I don't think that really matters. It's all part of the same machine. It was well before I became anything that could be described as communist, but all that means is that it hit that much harder when I had to come to terms with what I'd been a part of.
Maybe that's the sort of thing you can't ever make up for, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying anyway. If anyone on this site never wants anything to do with me again after having read this, I understand.
But nah really, rehabilitation is about realising things you didn't before. We live in a big deceitful world that tells you your whole life that doing that kind of work is moral, and I think a lot of people here are very quick to condemn others for not exiting the womb and immediately being aware of world politics and class consciousness. It also takes bravery to face up to your past mistakes and admit they were wrong.
Glad to have you on side now, comrade.