you can not imagine the relief. Even the nurse was shocked how badly my ears were clogged with wax. Thank goodness it wasn't the eardrum that I was afraid it was going to be. When she cleaned them out I let out an audible AHHHHHHHH and went oh my god. The other ear was even bad too and she was shocked I could hear out of it. The piece of wax that came out, shit you not, was like the size of a beetle. Amazed something like that could even get clogged in here.
Thanks to all you comrades for the well wishes.
Ear picks have been around for thousands of years, probably longer since its just a stick with a spoon shape at the end.
Also people probably moved around a lot more back then, not sure if that's enough to jostle earwax out but maybe it helps it fall out naturally.
Q-tips and physical implements being inserted into the ear don't help though. They jam the wax they don't get deeper into the ear, compacting it and making the problem worse. So this doesn't really answer @DyingOfDeBordom@hexbear.net's question since ear picks are not effective in the long term.
They are also very dangerous and it's easy to permanently damager your ear drums attempting this, do not stick anything INTO your ear. Q-tips are only for the rim/exterior.