Last year someone gave me a pair of Sennheiser headphones—dead ass gave them to me. I was ballin’. I got to be a homeless person with an iPhone 12 and a pair of Sennheisers. And then my idiot friend set off a series of unfortunate events that resulted in the loss of my headphones, along with everything else I owned at the time.
So last month when this very sweet devout Christian saw a comment of mine about being a homeless drug addict, and sent me $300. I bought a new pair of Sennheisers on Mercari. I’m pretty sure it was the same model even.
I finally got around to checking my mail and—the headphones are fucked off. They won’t pair or fucking anything.
I had to fight the screaming urge to slam them on the ground.
Yes. Someone gave them the money. Specifically gave them the money to buy new headphones.
Uh this person just randomly gave me $300 because I’m homeless and he believed that his Christian faith commanded him to give away such a sum. I spent some of it on a pair of headphones.
In that moment you were granted the mandate of heaven to buy yourself headphones