> be me, Abimael Guzmán
> be philosophy prof in dead-end uni job
> long to wield power
> have god complex and horny for ladies
> local orgs keep throwing me out for being a sexpest and a spiteful asshole
> local leftoids dont see my brilliance
> don’t care, am god, am chairman gonzalo
> have cia contacts through uni
> fuck it why not
> get money from cia to start my cult / party
> start my own party cult with blackjack and hookers
> cia promises i can be dictator
> get guns
> get coke
> get sex cult
> write cocaine manifestos about how everyone is fake except me
> tell followers way to get proles is to massacre them into class consciousness
> murder over 24,000 ppl, including bebes
> still no mass line, probably just need to kill more
> cia tells me 2 chill
> ignore cia, slaughter more bebes (boiling hot water 🥵)
> everyone in peru hates me now
> don’t care, am god, am chairman gonzalo
> mfw cia turns on me and puts less batshit fash dude in power
> new fash dude named after apples or some shit
> mfw new fash gives all the peruvians shit tons of shotguns instead of apples
> wtf all my cultists are getting blown apart with shotguns
> mfw my adventurism turned peasants from lumpen to reactionary fash
> mfw i get locked up for war crimes by the fash gov I helped create
> am in jail
> no guns
> no coke
> no sex cult
> don’t care, am god, am chairman gonzalo
> cia says “dont worry fam, we’ll make you popular in usa”
> start building my party cult again from jail
> crackers love me
> already lost so perfect martyr
> chauvinist crackers keep sending me money
> hell yeah still got it

:big-cool:

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]
      ·
      2 years ago

      the gonzalite equivalent to "these are my 3 girlfriends. they smoke weed."

      • Gonzalo [they/them]
        hexagon
        ·
        2 years ago

        It’s a flex to be annoying if you are a gonzalite and the more annoying you are the more you are flexing

    • Gonzalo [they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      2 years ago

      Had to keep cocaine, booze, and sex to myself. First rule of controlling a party cult