I know my (paternal) grandad has got bipolar disorder, as does my sister, and my dad's brother has schizophrenia.
So I'm wondering whether I could actually have any, or each of those in conjunction with/instead of my formal diagnosis. Would explain why I'm always fucked up, can't seem to keep track of anything IRL, and feel largely affectless.
Fwiw I'm 'just' autistic but "can’t seem to keep track of anything IRL, and feel largely affectless." describes what I felt like before therapy. A psychiatrist will know the difference.
Most important to internalise: you aren't a worse -or even different- person when you receive a diagnosis. You'll be in a better position to understand and improve yourself