honestly its kind of weird to me that people are ever confused about their sexuality. obviously just because i had it super easy, but like ... ive known i was bisexual for basically as long as I've had romantic interests at all, which is almost as long as I have been able to form serious long-term memories
like i remember thinking other girls and boys were cute in the same way in kindergarten. every step of my development in that regard, ive always felt the same feelings for people of any gender. when i first heard the term bisexual im sure my first reaction must have been "oh, theres a word for me"
It can be really easy to mistake attraction for other things, especially if you are questioning your gender as well as your sexuality. As a teenager I dated girls because it was the socially acceptable thing. Later I realized that a lot of my attraction to them was more envy and I really just wanted to be cool and pretty like them. Then after transitioning I became a lot more into guys (I always thought they were cute, but now I didn't have to deal with internalized homophobia anymore), but then I had to deal with the idea that my attraction to them might just be a symptom of wanting to feel validated as a woman. Like if straight guys are into me, that means I've made it, right? But also as I become more confident, I guess I'm into girls again and this time it feels different and more real.
Reading this doc has honestly given me a little peace of mind though. I'm pretty sure I'm bi and just have a lot of anxiety and self-doubt.
this but with guys but then with girls and then realising that I didn't have to like just one or the other and that I was :biderman:
honestly its kind of weird to me that people are ever confused about their sexuality. obviously just because i had it super easy, but like ... ive known i was bisexual for basically as long as I've had romantic interests at all, which is almost as long as I have been able to form serious long-term memories
like i remember thinking other girls and boys were cute in the same way in kindergarten. every step of my development in that regard, ive always felt the same feelings for people of any gender. when i first heard the term bisexual im sure my first reaction must have been "oh, theres a word for me"
It can be really easy to mistake attraction for other things, especially if you are questioning your gender as well as your sexuality. As a teenager I dated girls because it was the socially acceptable thing. Later I realized that a lot of my attraction to them was more envy and I really just wanted to be cool and pretty like them. Then after transitioning I became a lot more into guys (I always thought they were cute, but now I didn't have to deal with internalized homophobia anymore), but then I had to deal with the idea that my attraction to them might just be a symptom of wanting to feel validated as a woman. Like if straight guys are into me, that means I've made it, right? But also as I become more confident, I guess I'm into girls again and this time it feels different and more real.
Reading this doc has honestly given me a little peace of mind though. I'm pretty sure I'm bi and just have a lot of anxiety and self-doubt.