• stoy@lemmy.zip
    ·
    8 months ago

    Ok, I can sort of see your explanation, but I disagree with you on the fact that other people should not be expected to explain their viewpoints to a person they disagree with.

    Not explaining just leads to bickering, with no one getting any point across.

    But if you explain the other party may gain a better understanding.

    • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]
      ·
      8 months ago

      I know what you mean, but also this type of logic is used to fuck with marginalized people, putting the onus on them to stop and explain to their aggressors why what is being done to them is wrong, why they are valid people, to stop and justify your own existence for one who would doubt it

      I know that's not what you were doing, but that's what we deal with constantly, and because others in the thread had already gone into detail about why it matters this guy was white and male, I did not need to explain again

      • stoy@lemmy.zip
        ·
        8 months ago

        I get that, but I hoped that my way of posting gave me some benefit of the doubt. (:

        • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]
          ·
          8 months ago

          From my perspective, it actually served to do the opposite. I understand that you're posting in good faith, but it is, especially at first, indistinguishable from the kinds I was describing

          • stoy@lemmy.zip
            ·
            edit-2
            8 months ago

            With hindsight, I can see that, though I disagree with the response.

            • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]
              ·
              8 months ago

              I actually just posted what amounts to a short essay about this, if you're interested in more of my reasoning you can check it out. Cheers though, wish you well

    • Stoneykins [any]@mander.xyz
      ·
      8 months ago

      Maybe there is some hypothetical moral ideal on how people should behave in internet disagreements but I'm just trying to get you to be more realistics lmao

      • stoy@lemmy.zip
        ·
        8 months ago

        I am a realist, which is why I am trying show that I am no troll the only way I can, by trying to have a polite conversation.

        Though I am starting to get the picture that some people who still are downvoting me would rather see me insulting and crapping sll over the thread, which just reenforce the importance of not doing that.

        • Adkml [he/him]
          ·
          8 months ago

          You are in no way a realist you are actually being a pedantic pain in the ass doing an extreme amount of work to not understand really obviously apparent realities, starting with why you got offended somebody would call out old white assholes and then with the following 20 questions where you're being intentionally obtuse while acting like you have the moral high ground.

        • Stoneykins [any]@mander.xyz
          ·
          8 months ago

          Honestly you aren't even the worst in this thread but you did kinda open the door to some shit

          Not that I don't think you're dumb as bricks for your "what does skin color have to do with this" comment. You should know damn well what skin color has to do with this

          • stoy@lemmy.zip
            ·
            8 months ago

            That's fair, like I said, I got mildy annoyed, and never expected this entire conversation

            • AOCapitulator [they/them, she/her]
              ·
              edit-2
              8 months ago

              I'm pretty sure you're genuine, and if that is the case, I hope you will be able to figure out why you were lumped in with the rest, and hope it doesn't happen again because you learn the lesson

              Also, I will definitely admit that I was very annoyed and could have been nicer about it,and on the off chance you're actually genuine hey sorry. But that's not the important thing, 'being nicer about it' is a personal decision not a moral necessity. The "it" we're being "nicer" about is often something horrifying, like when people got upset at Aaron Bushnell for his self immolation, who were more upset about THAT than they are about what's happening to innocent bystanders in Palestine. No one is required to put up with someone's bullshit just for the purpose of helping them learn and grow. Its good to do in the few times when that is possible...

              but here?

              on the internet? Its 1/1000 interactions where that's possible, and 1/2 of the time we're dealing with actual nazis and people who support and encourage systems that target us for extermination, us being any marginalized identities, which hexbear mostly is in one way or another, not just because we're leftists, but also most are trans and/or queer and/or poc and/or neurodivergent etc etc. We have been around for years and over those years, have grown to recognize civility bullshit for what it always was. And recognize what it means when people are upset about criticism of privileged behavior that demonstrate the contradictions inherent to our current system. To see that an not react harshly against it is no different than contributing to it yourself

              To hear incorrect views without rebutting them and, but instead to take them calmly as if nothing had happened.

              That's why many people in this thread reacted negatively to the comments we did. Clear enough?

              • stoy@lemmy.zip
                ·
                8 months ago

                After reading about why .zip can be seen as bad, I do understand it better, I genuinely didn't know about the reputation of the instance.

                Learned my lesson?

                I have gained more understanding, but there was no lesson to be learned here.