Things are becoming more depressing every day and I can't afford for professionals and don't want to jump to the last resort or drugs. Is there a medicine that can make me happy if I take it in proper doses and does not require a doctor's prescription?
Sorry for seeing the comments now, but it's never too late hopefully.
Therapy helped me. Looking back first important step was noticing that I am angry. It is strange how hidden and unrecognizable anger can be.
Second part is discovering why I was angry. As soon as we discover why are we angry, we stop being angry. When ai asked my shrink how does that work, he said "I don't know, but it works". And it really does.
Now when someone says "I am angery and I know why I am angre" I am sure they have no idea.
And I haven't found other way to resolve that, than psychoanalysis as therapy.
I don't feel angry, all I could feel is hopelessness about the future. I have no plans, no job and my girlfriend is going to break up with me but I don't know when exactly she will and I don't even have a clue what is the reason. I don't hate anybody, on the other side I just don't feel loving anyone, especially me. I wish I could have wings and fly across somewhere. That should clear my mind.