Edit: I’m going to sleep, I’m not ignoring you if it takes like 12 hours for a response.
I can elaborate if you have questions that help clear things up, suffice it to say I’m doing normal ass things and they’ll walk by and pat me on back saying “good job” in the voice one uses when a puppy begs to be let out instead of pissing on the floor.
How the fuck do I go to HR and not sound paranoid/persecution complex” about this? They took it a step further today and the meat department asshole I’ve posted about wanting to duel (damn the consequences) about before slapped my shoulder (I’m not even comfortable with a gentle pat) and said “what a perfectly adequate job you’re doing”. Of course the house trained ….pick a word that I am said “thanks for the compliment”.
I’m going to lose my job after flipping out if I allow them to continue this, yet alone escalating.
Advice?
P.S the people I work with in my department are basically just normies. No better or worse than average American. The deli guy fucking called me little one and I’m still pissed about that because I have a height complex even though Reddit losers have turned into that meaning child and I can’t tell which direction he meant it in.
Most people I know generally do no compliment anyone for any reason unless they’re very intimate. And when they do, it just comes off awkward and maybe condescending. When I walk someone through something that’s easy - whether for me or for both of us - I might just unconsciously say “good job” in some quick deadpan voice because, well, customer service brain. Other times someone achieved something and they’re excited, and I don’t know enough to really be genuinely excited with them, so I just say “hey that’s awesome” because I want them to know that I at least support them lol
If it’s some 70+ year old man/woman, they probably mean that as a sincere compliment. You probably remind them of a grandkid they love. If they’re about your age or trivially older than you, then that’s just weird. Maybe it’s a cultural thing because I’ve had some people who were learning English for the first time and calling me “big boy”, presumably because I’m tall but maybe because I was chubby back then, but I also wasn’t a teenager, but they didn’t seem to mean anything by it.
If they’re complimenting you on normal stuff and they’re much older, then they’re probably just happy to see a young person work hard - or at least what they perceive as hard work. If they’re not that much older then maybe they think you’re mentally slow or something like that. https://youtu.be/88B3O0pdal4
Though the latter is not always true. I have a boss who goes out of her way to thank me for working hard. Most of the time I am, but other times I just take very detailed notes and handling back to back requests so it looks like I’m doing a lot. But if you look at the actual notes you’d realize that I’m just sitting around for most of the time lol
If you could elaborate, that would clarify something things. I’m not sure what “bullying masked with toxic positivity” looks like outside of memories from movies with mean popular girls in school saying something like “wow Samantha snickers I really love you hair. It totally fits you.”
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
The guy might even be younger than me. He’s the sort of “either a very healthy 30s or similar in age.
I think what I was trying to get at is it’s obviously fake or contrived. There’s another person who does similar amounts of unnecessary compliments but she’s just a nice person.
Like half the time I buy an energy drink or something she “accidentally” scans it out instead of ringing it up. So unless it’s an elaborate ploy ( I’m not that paranoid), it’s probably just a nice older lady thing.
Thanks for the thought out response and context giving.