Artists are just spoiled aristocrats and I’m tired of pretending they aren’t. Every time I go to my local portraitist to commission a headshot they’re always so sassy. “Oh the fourth this week Theodore??” they say like I haven’t told them that I prefer to go by Tedasamus, my grandfather’s uncle’s name. Disgusting! They should all be chained to radiators for all I care. Ta ta I say, ta ta!