indeterminate ramblings fleeting thoughts that seem profound one moment then fade to nothing like death and birth over again while everyone sleeps and i sit and feverishly look for a way to breath through the racing thoughts upon my mind and the weight of my body.

in the other room in the other place my mother has to watch my grandfather sleep his hateful burden too big to shoulder alone still held aloft by his daughters daughters and as his strength fails i feel the enormity of this weight compounding somewhere someplace nearer.

in the here and now i see you laying next to me in bed we dont talk about anything awake or not i want to wake you up and seek your comfort but that is no longer and mostly never was but a way to move the weight onto and off our glasses and then pulverize the shards.

i cant sleep