Dating apps are making it harder to make meaningful connections.

So, why is this the case? The ultimate goal of online dating apps should be to function as a conduit in creating committed relationships, right? Wrong. The realm of online dating has become a multi-billion dollar industry — an industry that profits primarily off of user addiction, especially by keeping its users single. The way that the industry accomplishes this is twofold, relying on qualities of gamification and what psychologist Barry Schwartz refers to as the “paradox of choice.”

The presence of the choice paradox in online dating is perhaps best understood through the analogy of online shopping. Studies have shown that as shoppers are exposed to more options for potential purchases, they are paradoxically less likely to be satisfied with their ultimate decision. As our brains become inundated with a variety of choices, we often experience choice paralysis: An anxiety-induced state that prevents us from making a resounding decision.

On Tinder, the user’s experience of choice overload has become a frequent occurrence. In the emergence of what some are calling “serial swipers,” many users can be seen displaying strong hesitations to commit to a singular option due to fears of missing out on a potentially better one.

The infiltration of the choice paradox into the realm of relationships is especially dangerous. Unlike the case of online shopping, users aren’t choosing between products, they’re choosing between people. The resulting world of online dating has become a breeding ground for objectification, sexual harassment and insecurity, as choices are increasingly influenced by abundance and appearances rather than genuine compatibility.

The instant gratification offered by each ‘match’ causes the idea of exclusivity to appear unsettling, with many individuals remaining addicted to these apps even in committed relationships. Specifically, 30% of Tinder users are married, and another 12% are in relationships. Because of this, the online dating world has become a hotbed for cheating and noncommittal sex. Users find themselves immersed in an endless, twisted game, where matches and hookups function as points to keep score.

  • Llituro [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I think this article is backwards. Apps have an incentive to keep you swiping, yes. Are they the reason people are turning to apps to meet partners in the first place? No, I don’t think so. Common social spaces have been disappearing for decades. The mall is gone, the church is dwindling (especially for young people, primary Tinder users), social clubs are gone. Who hangs out in a bar to meet people in 2023? To my mind, internet is papering over spaces where genuine social connections used to be, and meetup apps are an expression of that. Bowling Alone thesis is trite at this point but it seems correct.

    100%. the commons are more closed than ever before, it's not the gamification of the app that is the driver of the problem, it's that the app in itself is a symptom of an underlying contradiction regardless of the actual content of the app. it's why hinge and tinder have the same problem despite wildly different goals and marketing. the medium is the message after all, and the message here is that you're dead inside anyway, so you might as well meet the people that will disappoint you on your phone first rather than having to touch grass to even have a chance at meeting someone.