So, why is this the case? The ultimate goal of online dating apps should be to function as a conduit in creating committed relationships, right? Wrong. The realm of online dating has become a multi-billion dollar industry — an industry that profits primarily off of user addiction, especially by keeping its users single. The way that the industry accomplishes this is twofold, relying on qualities of gamification and what psychologist Barry Schwartz refers to as the “paradox of choice.”
The presence of the choice paradox in online dating is perhaps best understood through the analogy of online shopping. Studies have shown that as shoppers are exposed to more options for potential purchases, they are paradoxically less likely to be satisfied with their ultimate decision. As our brains become inundated with a variety of choices, we often experience choice paralysis: An anxiety-induced state that prevents us from making a resounding decision.
On Tinder, the user’s experience of choice overload has become a frequent occurrence. In the emergence of what some are calling “serial swipers,” many users can be seen displaying strong hesitations to commit to a singular option due to fears of missing out on a potentially better one.
The infiltration of the choice paradox into the realm of relationships is especially dangerous. Unlike the case of online shopping, users aren’t choosing between products, they’re choosing between people. The resulting world of online dating has become a breeding ground for objectification, sexual harassment and insecurity, as choices are increasingly influenced by abundance and appearances rather than genuine compatibility.
The instant gratification offered by each ‘match’ causes the idea of exclusivity to appear unsettling, with many individuals remaining addicted to these apps even in committed relationships. Specifically, 30% of Tinder users are married, and another 12% are in relationships. Because of this, the online dating world has become a hotbed for cheating and noncommittal sex. Users find themselves immersed in an endless, twisted game, where matches and hookups function as points to keep score.
grass always seems greener on the other side. viewing a relationship as something you have to optimize for maximum value takes the meaning out of it. if they arent politically aware enough for you, help them gain class consciousness. if you love them, they make you happy, and you have a healthy relationship then there isnt a problem! the dating apps want you to think theres a problem. you might feel boredom but literally everyone feels that sometimes, you just gotta do something to make things more exciting! take an art class together, find a new place to enjoy nature with them. there are plenty of valid reasons to break up with someone but thinking you can get a "better" partner is dangerous thinking. not ur fault, dating apps are designed to make us think this
I recognize that for sure. It's tough to talk politics with someone who is a generally happy, but mildly unaware, person without coming off like a buzzkill. That's the only hold up for me.
It's like "Hey! You should listen to this really good podcast about how the US has been murdering people all of the world for the last 300 years."
Her: .....mmm....ok maybe
yeah i feel ya. its ridiculously hard to cut through the propaganda. just think of all the stuff you had to unlearn to get to where you are. its not something you do all at once. just try to incorporate radicalizing information in ur conversations and if she expresses interest you can expand on it. the other day my gf said something abt how stealing from corporations is ok but not small businesses and i went into how some small business owners are just as tyrannical as corporate management and how they steal the labor of their workers regardless of the size of their business
Not to get too off track, but I feel like we're having a conversation and I just smoked a bowl:
Get this, she's a small business owner. Right now she contracts some of her invoicing work out to the Phillipines. She's looking to grow her business this year to allow her to have more money/time to travel and that should also allow her focus more on the creative side of her business. What I'm hoping is that I can use this as an opportunity to educate her on what she is actually doing, which is the engaging in the exploitation of the global working class.
Maybe from there, I can try to radicalize her a bit.
oh damn. i kinda assumed she was a prole. but that means educating her is gonna be a lot more of an uphill battle bc imperialism directly benefits her material position. still not impossible, she might just need some reminding that labor in the Philippines is so cheap bc of years of devastation and expropriation by western firms and militaries. also that the ppl she hires are actual ppl who are just trying to survive in a colonized country
idk tho, it sounds like a tough situation, hope it goes well!
The main thought I had would be to have her write down how much she thinks she could expect her business to grow and then have her compare how much her new workers would be getting paid. Then I could ask her if she thinks that it's a fair deal that her workers are adding so much to the business and only getting a fraction.
A good person would say it isn't fair, so I'm hoping she agrees.
i hope she agrees too comrade! good luck!