Eldtritch has gone stale everybody, we're all thinking it! I'm so tired of hearing about "summoning" a creature from " la most terrible and tenebris maw" why does everything have a maw? What the fuck is a maw? Give me a grimoire that summons a goblin that looks like a ciao ciao that does my taxes or some shit.
There once was a very weighty book that was owned by all households all across the land. None read it cover to cover, but all used it for hidden knowledge, at need. There were white pages and yellow pages to aid the seeker, and all was arranged most orderly. Alas, but this font of knowledge is gone from this land, and I have not seen its like for many a long year. New-fangled methods have lured seekers of knowledge to other sources, and its venerable wisdom is sought no more. Seek ye the telephone book? Ye shall not find it, though ye search the length and breadth of your grandmother's attic, for it was recycled long ago.