And how it has a like 84% correlation with autism. Pretty sure I'm in the 16% because I'm a dead ringer for ADHD and only have some autism spillover, mostly sensory processing issues and being a bit slow on the social uptake due to lax attention, but still, you'd think people would look at a 3 year old reading books without ever having been taught how and go "hey that's kinda weird" instead of thinking "he was reading at 2, he's smart, he'll figure out this social stuff and not grow up self-isolating from rejection sensitivity and abandonment issues"
EDIT: The more I think about it the more I think I might have some more ASD issues than I thought and if so that's fine I guess, life's a constant struggle to cope either way, if it's true it's another avenue to follow that's already well-explored.
Fuck fuck you just enearthed a strain of memories of my parents constant praise for learning to read Spanish as a child :ohnoes:
Your final sentence hits home too. Just have to trudge onwards and do better for others I guess
I was feeling down when I wrote this but I just spent an hour in a Zoom class for creative writing and it felt really good to vibe with people and make them laugh and laugh at things they say
The solution is arming yourself with the skills you never picked up as a kid and then getting out there and having some corrective experiences, so you can learn to trust yourself and forgive your own mistakes instead of letting them fester and spiral out of your control because you were too scared your attempts at reconciliation would be taken badly and just make things worse
Or just you know whatever just an example :blob-no-thoughts: