I understand that. As much as I hate generalized liberal platitudes and other forms of psycho-babble, based off of what you are saying I do think you should try to engage in a behavioral psychological technique called 'positive visualization'. This term has been bastardized by the self-help community over the last couple of decades as 'mantras' or 'manifestations', but it's a far more meta-concept than that. It's not magic, it's a deconstruction of your own thought process.
Basically, if you would like, a couple times a day, try to imagine yourself engaging with people in positive way. I know you said that 'you can't see yourself doing it' but I refuse to believe that your imagination is that limited. After all, if I am reading your words correctly, you are perfectly capable of imagining a catastrophized interaction, which is a far more involved and dramatic imagining. And once you've done that positive visualization, then think about how that was an imagined conversation. In the same way, if your ever find your brain wandering off and catastrophizing a potential interaction, try to stop and think about how that was also an imagined conversation. Basically, you are trying to, through conscious choices and oppositional thinking, recognize when you are imagining things. For some people it helps to keep track of when those thoughts happen, how many times a day, what the nature of the imagination is, how long it had been since you ate (people get incredibly grumpy if they haven't eaten). None of this involves actually having to go talk to people, but it is a recognition of the difference between the material and the ideological.
However, this is just a first step. If you aren't seeing a reduction in those thoughts despite sticking to a plan, that might be indicative of actual brain-chemistry issues, not just learned behavioral thought patterns. But if you do see or feel a reduction, then you can, if you want, actually go out and try to interact with people. Who knows, maybe I am incorrect and you will always have a bad time (I personally doubt that, I have known some very strange people be incredibly social and liked, but I am not you and I don't live in your area). But at least you didn't imagine yourself having a bad time beforehand thus poisoning the well.
I understand that. As much as I hate generalized liberal platitudes and other forms of psycho-babble, based off of what you are saying I do think you should try to engage in a behavioral psychological technique called 'positive visualization'. This term has been bastardized by the self-help community over the last couple of decades as 'mantras' or 'manifestations', but it's a far more meta-concept than that. It's not magic, it's a deconstruction of your own thought process.
Basically, if you would like, a couple times a day, try to imagine yourself engaging with people in positive way. I know you said that 'you can't see yourself doing it' but I refuse to believe that your imagination is that limited. After all, if I am reading your words correctly, you are perfectly capable of imagining a catastrophized interaction, which is a far more involved and dramatic imagining. And once you've done that positive visualization, then think about how that was an imagined conversation. In the same way, if your ever find your brain wandering off and catastrophizing a potential interaction, try to stop and think about how that was also an imagined conversation. Basically, you are trying to, through conscious choices and oppositional thinking, recognize when you are imagining things. For some people it helps to keep track of when those thoughts happen, how many times a day, what the nature of the imagination is, how long it had been since you ate (people get incredibly grumpy if they haven't eaten). None of this involves actually having to go talk to people, but it is a recognition of the difference between the material and the ideological.
However, this is just a first step. If you aren't seeing a reduction in those thoughts despite sticking to a plan, that might be indicative of actual brain-chemistry issues, not just learned behavioral thought patterns. But if you do see or feel a reduction, then you can, if you want, actually go out and try to interact with people. Who knows, maybe I am incorrect and you will always have a bad time (I personally doubt that, I have known some very strange people be incredibly social and liked, but I am not you and I don't live in your area). But at least you didn't imagine yourself having a bad time beforehand thus poisoning the well.