The Baffler’s summary:
In the tragic actualization of a tender notion into a creepy plastic doodad, one Chinese company has invented a long-distance kissing machine that transmits the user’s “kiss data” to their long-distance sweetheart via a pair of haunting silicon lips. Thing is, it’s actually the third such abomination on the market. As long as people have had kisses, they’ve looked for ways to give them away. Made with the supposedly pure intention of bridging the confines of quarantine, reviewers have noted that the product has its charms “even if you are single” and the inventor himself admits that “there’s little we can do for how people use the device,” which bodes ill for the future of smooching, at least when the black market in stolen kisses begins its inevitable conquest of our pecks and hickeys. Once they have your “kiss data,” who knows who may be making out with you unawares? You might be necking with Xi Jinping right now.
:xi-plz: :they-were-comrades:
One of the previous abominations was called Kissinger.
The socialist fraternal kiss can now be practiced across the vast distances of the planet and without the risk of contracting mono! Our time has come!!
:up-yours-woke-moralists: Man Milking Machines as far as the eye can see Joe Rogan, my god, so tragic.
as someone in a long distance relationship, i don't see what's so creepy about it
I want this to mean that you and your partner live together but do a 10k run each morning
Pretty sure I saw a video of this years ago, but that was from Japan so of course it was cool and good.
Mere technical limitations cannot alter the fundamentally terroristic nature of my kisses