Learn to code, everybody said. There's so many jobs, and they pay well. Dumbass me fell for the bait. Graduated with a degree in computer science a year and a week ago. Didn't get any internships because I didn't realize how important they are. Graduated with a 2.3 GPA because I always heard people don't care about your GPA once you graduate. If you're generous and cut out the hours from when I failed out of college the first time, it's a 2.6.

I've applied to over a thousand jobs by now. Almost entirely entry level, but I took shots at some nonspecified experience level postings once I got more desperate. I've managed to get two interviews. To add insult to injury, one of the interviewers said that their main concern with me was that I'd move on to a new job in a year or two. I couldn't do that if I wanted to, man. I'm so burnt out on how bad applying for shit sucks when I know most of these companies are throwing my application in the trash in less than 5 seconds.

I've been able to stay stable so far. I live with my parents, who are the best parents I could ever ask for. They're understanding, supportive, and want to help how they can. No worries on the living expenses front, at least, but it's not a situation that can last. In the long term, obviously, they're not gonna be around forever. In the short term, it's just going to drive me completely insane. I've used my leftover student loans and a generous graduation gift from my uncle for the non-essential stuff and managed to limit my spending to about $100 a month, but the well will dry up on that front, too.

All this is to say that I don't think I can get a job with my degree. A year long gap is a bad sign on an already weak resume. Soon it'll be as good as if I had never gone to school in the first place after I spent years forcing myself through math classes I tore my hair out over (why was this 75% of my degree again?) I've tried doing some independent game development to maybe transition in that direction, but I can't force myself to do it because the whole time I just feel like I'm wasting time I should be spending looking for a "real" job. My parents have frequently encouraged me to go get a master's while I wait for the job market to improve. After telling them for months that I didn't want to sink any more money in education (read: training) until it showed some returns, I caved and started looking into grad programs. Looks like I couldn't do it if I wanted to because lmao 2.3 GPA. I'm confident I could get a great score on the GRE, I've always done pretty fantastic on that kind of test. It's the one academic skill I have that I can brag about, honestly. But the GRE for Math would kick my ass into next week, and I'm pretty certain most MS in CS programs would want me to take it.

So I can't get a job in my major, I'm too neurotic to do anything on my own, my grades are too shit to get a graduate degree. I'm 28 now and not getting any younger. I'm beyond sick of being dependent on others. But what else can I do? Service jobs suck tremendously and don't pay enough for me to live off of anyways, especially around where I live. It'd be equivalent of choosing to live in poverty. Every road seems closed off to me. I don't know what I can do to make my way through life and I feel like even if I did, I'd be too much of a coddled loser to take that path.

Sorry for turning it into a blog, I'm basically just some random failson whining. Anybody relate?

Edit: Thanks for the replies, everybody. Feeling a little bit less down. Probably gonna try and make some contributions to a FOSS project and get a job at a grocery store or something while I still live at home.

  • pooh [she/her, love/loves]
    ·
    6 months ago

    I had the same situation when I graduated. I ended up finding a technical sales-related job that sucked but led to a better position. Then I got laid off and couldn’t find another similar job for a long time until I got one through a recruiter and had to move states again. Some advice I have:

    • Use recruiters. Not just for your situation, but in my experience going through recruiters is a much easier way to find and get jobs since they have relationships with these companies and know how to navigate the process. They can also basically coach you through the interviews so that you have a leg up on most people who would apply directly through the company. They also are better at negotiating pay and benefits and can help you there as well. I think all of the recruiters I’ve dealt with I found on LinkedIn (the paid job seeker thing puts you on their lists, or you can search directly and message them) and also I’d look for technical recruiting agencies and sign up on their websites.
    • Be willing to move - Some job markets are better than others and being willing to move for a job gives you a lot more options. On the other hand, I’ve moved way too often and haven’t really been able to settle down anywhere and make any good real life friends, which sucks, but what are you gonna do. I have my pup to keep me company at least, and you all too of course.
    • Embellish your resume - You don’t want to blatantly lie about your qualifications and put yourself in a risky position, but I’d definitely say you should exaggerate as much as you can get away with without arousing suspicion. ChatGPT is very helpful for this.
    • Sort of related, also tailor your resume and cover letter to the job description of where you’re applying and using the same key words and phrases, since that will make it more likely you’ll get through the automated software screening and to an actual interview.
    • Be flexible and look for opportunities that others might ignore. For example, maybe also look for programming jobs in areas like manufacturing, health care, small businesses, etc. and not just software companies. Sounds like you’re probably already doing this, though.
    • I’m not a software dev but I’ve used hobby projects a bit in the past as a way to “demonstrate skills” when I had not much experience but wanted to pad my resume any way I could. Some hobby like 3D printing for example isn’t that big of a deal as far as a skill, but I was able to fluff it up quite a bit to my advantage. Seems like software would make hobby projects easier to get into, given you don’t need buy a bunch of stuff besides having a computer. Also sites like Coursera and edX have free classes that include projects that can be also be useful for this sort of thing.

    Sorry for the wall of text here. I’m sure you’re already doing a lot of this already but I hope at least some of it is helpful.