My child is AMAB but isn't even old enough to talk let alone express an identity based on societal gender norms. That being said almost everyone we meet will refer to them with she/her pronouns until they hear the name which is typically male coded. More often than not they become very apologetic even though I don't really care at all. As I say to them "he doesn't seem to mind either way" with a smile.
This has me thinking, however, about how to handle this situation in a way that, when old enough to understand, shows my child that they get to decide how to be referred to, not other people.
Any thoughts or opinions?
I never pushed gender on my kid but I also never really thought about it much either. She gravitated toward female identity very early on. However before ~18mo she looked physically more boyish.
All this to say, in my case it just happened (kids will show you with actions; not words) and I suspect that's how it is with most family units.