I've always taken the stance that people can change on most things, if they truly want it and are willing to push through the costs. Wanting it isn't enough of course, but it's a pretty necessary part. Also I mean obviously of course depending on the topic and physical possibility, no amount of wanting is going to fix a blind persons eyesight or other things like that.

But one of my favorite ideas is that a brave person is not someone who does without fear, but who does despite fear. And taking this stance has helped me a lot with confronting my anxiety. It's not a perfect cure-all, nothing is but I'm better at trying new foods and meeting new people than I used to be.

I think where this stance gets problematic is when people are just straight up lying about it. A domestic abuser who says "I'll try to do better" is very rarely wanting to actually do better, it's a ploy. We get the idea that they can't change not because they truly can't (a lot of domestic abusers know how to behave, they do it in their work life and social life all the time), but rather because they truly don't want to to begin with. That's why it's important to understand that while others can change, you're never going to be the one to change them. Only at best, a support network for them to make their own change with.