I’m full liberationist in my politics but assimilationist in my personal life lol.

And that's perfectly fine. I just recently had a conversation about that very topic with a really dear friend of mine who is stealth in some spaces and there's no question for me that's entirely up to her. She's had more than enough struggles with believing she'd never pass, i'm happy she can finally accept herself and i'm glad for her that her transition turned out the way it did. Yes, that's a kind of privilege and she recognizes that, but she's still trans, she's still systemically oppressed and marginalized, she just gets to take breaks from the full brunt of transphobia from time to time. And when people have that opportunity, it's completely alright to use it, this life can be hard enough to bear already.

I'm fighting this fight because i want trans people to thrive and be happy. And that means i can't demand from everybody to put themselves out on the front lines, because the fewest people can thrive there. When i talk about being visibly trans in public, people always tell me i'm braver than the troops. But some days i don't want to be brave. It's just that with the way i still look rn and with the dysphoria boymoding gives me, and with the so-so level of transphobia around here, a forward defense of just saying fuck it and being as genderfuck as i happen to be on a given day is simply the easiest and least painful strategy for me. I find fulfillment in fighting the good fight, purpose, sure, and i see the necessity of it all in the grand scheme of things, but i wish this wouldn't be needed. I just want to cuddle with my friends while we meow at each other.