I saw this asked on another instance, thought I’d ask it here and I’ll post my response from there in the comments as I think it felt cathartic.
Doesn't need to be a life or death situation, just any moment in your life where you found yourself saying "Holy shit, I can't believe this is happening!"
I could list a few.
- Christmas when I was about 10 I found out my dad wasn’t really my dad. Thanks nana. The man who raised is my dad to me still.
- Leading on from the last one. Later in life my biological father got in touch and giving it all the life complicated spiel. I was indifferent but figured sure I’ll meet. Turns out he was back with my mum and now I’m back at home and he ain’t ever act like a dad, and now he doesn’t see if other daughters since he got back with my mum. Dudes a joke.
- as you might have noticed I’ve had a tumultuous childhood. Mum spent my formative years flipping between my non-bio dad and the man who I have a half brother with, who I ain’t seen in 30 years. So I spent the time sat in the back of a car whilst she called men to her friend or went in pubs to pour pints on their head.
- one time we came home and saw burglars robbing our flat. Probably something to do with my half brothers dad.
- one time as a young adult, the man that raised me was out getting drunk in his mates house. My mum made me break the door down and she went in all guns blazing grabbing a golf club and going ham.
- Fell in a canal at night off my box on Xanax and thought I might die. Threw out my stashed and literally nearly died from withdrawals.
- surprising not been assaulted many times cause I used to be a righteous mouthy removed when drunk, i don’t drink at all as I saw how it broke my dad, well my mum did but alcohol didn’t help.
- watched as my mum and dad had a loveless marriage and at the start he used to hit her, then later she bullied his ass for decades. Like take his wages and refuse him money for cigs.
- on way to school vacation and got told my dad was going prison for driving drunk whilst banned.
- saw my tea dumped on her head.
- it’s all coming back now. One time my dad tried to drive the car into our house but it got stuck in the bushes.
That’s just a few, but yeah it’s no wonder I’m fucked, not an excuse as I’ve made progress and got a good job now. Not sure I’m happy but I’ve just shut off the stuff I grew up around as what else can I do.