I saw this asked on another instance, thought I’d ask it here and I’ll post my response from there in the comments as I think it felt cathartic.
Doesn't need to be a life or death situation, just any moment in your life where you found yourself saying "Holy shit, I can't believe this is happening!"
The strangest moment of my life was probably when I found myself doing DMT with a Willie Nelson impersonator in his mobile home. He had a pit bull which was running around with an erection.
That does sound very interesting.
I’ve always wanted to try DMT but it doesn’t seem to be a thing we can get here in the UK.
It was homemade in this case 🫠. Little involved but doable... or so I hear
Turns out you can literally find very detailed guides online for making this stuff and with not too crazy equipment.
Joblessness and social isolation? After graduating at September 2022, unlike other students who already secured their jobs around March, I had nothing. And it's still the same for me. I dread applying to jobs. It fills me with so much fear, I don't bother. At one point I had a really bad panic attack, that I deleted all my Git accounts online, and every project backup, shut down my laptop, doing nothing for almost two month except staring the roof, because I was so done. I could not believe that I had sacrificed my teen, getting isolated, losing out on socializing, partying and all that shit. I convinced myself that this would reward me, because those cringey grind-set YouTubers told me, and that I was probably the main character or something. I completed my engineering degree with such great difficulty, because I was severely depressed, I lost all my sleep, I stopped attending classes, waking up at 12 in the noon. I'm going to be 24, and I've successfully wasted two years without any experience, nor any degree to back my use of time.
I can relate to this, although I didn’t go the degree route to end up as a software developer and in not sure how much of this will be transferable, but you literally have plenty of time and you can make vast changes in a short period of time.
I completed a bootcamp, but I just couldn’t perform in interviews and I got so anxious I would either clam up or just talk too much, ADHD too much.
I was devastated as I pinned all my hopes of being happy on this career change. So I did another bootcamp and again sucked at interviewing. I was making loads of projects on GitHub but not progressing. Suffice to say I managed to get fired by a small company and although the pay isn’t amazing, and I’m still insecure about my skills. You will get hired if you persist.
The other point I want to make, is I am still not happy, I am happier to be doing something I enjoy but it’s still a grind man. My employers didn’t care about my GitHub and didn’t even look at it, didn’t check my portfolio and really they wanted someone that was capable of following their coding practices rather than someone who would be pig headed about all they knew.
It also matters what roles you’re applying for. I was never going to be hired by London banks as I just didn’t fit in or have that mindset, although I interviewed for a few. I found my place in small company that will help me grow my skills and confidence. Maybe in the future I can move somewhere else, but still not a massive company. I have friends working in Canary Wharf and they have maybe 10% the coding I get to do, because they have to go through review processes and such and maybe what they build doesn’t even go live ever.
I guess I just want to say if massive salary isn’t your only goal and you just want to have a somewhat fun job where you solve problems then stick at it, but you first have to get out of the rut, which is the hardest thing in the world. You’ll need to reach out to friends, family or people on here for support to get a routine. Sleep is the hardest. Stop sleeping in the day if you do that, I like to take walks when I finish work before dinner time just so I don’t sleep. Then you can sleep at night, then you’ll be able to have a routine. Once you have a routine you just have to grind out the soul destroying interviews until you find one that lands. I know it can be disheartening, but honestly if I can get hired then anybody can.
You’re 24 and I made it at late thirties. Now I will confess I am lucky (sad) enough to be back at my mums so I was able to save money and not stress so much.
Another thing that helped me no end was working at Apple. I started as a Christmas temp and moved to the Genius Bar. Working there is something else. Like everybody had another side hustle, whether it be photography, music making or whatever. When you’re surrounded by people like that it’s kinda inspiring. Plus you get to handle problem solving too and really work on the social skills required. For instance talking to customers whilst typing on an iPad is hella hard at first as it feels rude not to be looking at them. Plus handling all the assholes etc.
This is long now and I digress a lot, but essentially, even if cliche, you can make it. You just have to stick at it. Even through the hardest of times. For me keeping my mind busy and routine is key otherwise I’m prone to wallow and wonder why nothing changes.
Also, the grass ain’t not greener over here. Perhaps we are not destined for happiness but we can have a less horrible time you know.
One time I got back from annual leave only to find out that my job had been done away with by the board over a year beforehand and my manager had spent the last year submitting fake timesheets claiming I was working a different position, so I could do the parts of her job that the assistant manager wasn't already doing. The company had assumed I knew about it as they couldn't get in contact with me when they discovered it and came down on the manager (my job was only the beginning of her fraud), but I was in the middle of nowhere and had no signal, so the first I heard about it was when I walked into the office and one of my coworkers went "what are you doing here?".
That really is insane. Do you know what happened to the manager committing the fraud?
To my knowledge she got away without any real consequences - last I heard she had the same position at one of the competitors.
I could list a few.
- Christmas when I was about 10 I found out my dad wasn’t really my dad. Thanks nana. The man who raised is my dad to me still.
- Leading on from the last one. Later in life my biological father got in touch and giving it all the life complicated spiel. I was indifferent but figured sure I’ll meet. Turns out he was back with my mum and now I’m back at home and he ain’t ever act like a dad, and now he doesn’t see if other daughters since he got back with my mum. Dudes a joke.
- as you might have noticed I’ve had a tumultuous childhood. Mum spent my formative years flipping between my non-bio dad and the man who I have a half brother with, who I ain’t seen in 30 years. So I spent the time sat in the back of a car whilst she called men to her friend or went in pubs to pour pints on their head.
- one time we came home and saw burglars robbing our flat. Probably something to do with my half brothers dad.
- one time as a young adult, the man that raised me was out getting drunk in his mates house. My mum made me break the door down and she went in all guns blazing grabbing a golf club and going ham.
- Fell in a canal at night off my box on Xanax and thought I might die. Threw out my stashed and literally nearly died from withdrawals.
- surprising not been assaulted many times cause I used to be a righteous mouthy removed when drunk, i don’t drink at all as I saw how it broke my dad, well my mum did but alcohol didn’t help.
- watched as my mum and dad had a loveless marriage and at the start he used to hit her, then later she bullied his ass for decades. Like take his wages and refuse him money for cigs.
- on way to school vacation and got told my dad was going prison for driving drunk whilst banned.
- saw my tea dumped on her head.
- it’s all coming back now. One time my dad tried to drive the car into our house but it got stuck in the bushes.
That’s just a few, but yeah it’s no wonder I’m fucked, not an excuse as I’ve made progress and got a good job now. Not sure I’m happy but I’ve just shut off the stuff I grew up around as what else can I do.
Not sure if I'd class it as the craziest moment of my life, but it was like a scene out of a sitcom:
When I was a teenager I briefly worked part-time at a place that refurbished various household appliances. Donations came in through the front and ended up in back with very little looking over. We took all sorts in and the workshop floor was split into various departments based on what appliances they dealt with. I was a new hire and they were still cycling me 'round various departments, my least favourite one was when I was assigned to cleaning out used ovens.
One day this box came in and, like, we opened it up and there were various electronic massaging gizmos. So, my supervisor is pulling 'em out, he passes some of 'em to me to give a lookover to make sure they're clean and do, like, PAT tests and stuff.
I'm plodding along and he gets to work on the rest himself. I'm doing the tests on this thing that's like a plastic plate with this piece on the top vaguely shaped like a pair of cupped hands, when my supervisor calls me over to lend a hand. He's got this black tube that goes a bit wider on one end, about as thick as my wrist. It looked kinda like a torch but with a cap screwed over the bit the light's in.
His hands are a bit slippy so he's having a hard time unscrewing the cap, so he asked me to have a go. Wider end pointed away from me, I wrapped my hand around the cap and gave it a good twist. The first clue I had that something was amiss was that my supervisor went bright red. I asked him what's wrong and just told me to see for myself, so I turn the thing in my hand and see this silicone orifice looking back at me.
That was how I learnt what a fleshlight is.
