it sounds like you just don't like talking. I know plenty of people like this. I'm not really close with them, I'm a conversationalist and cannot stand silence most of the time, but they seem to be doing fine. If you're wondering if you're missing something, it's the deeper conversation you can access after having chatted with someone for a while, but you don't necessarily get that, or it isn't worth having, with everyone. It seems like dating figures into your difficulty connecting with people. Maybe look into a hobby that inherently involves multiple people, like sports, and just vibing with people doing that can get them more comfortable with you. You could look into things with more of a dialog to them like philosophy or literary critique, where there's more of a back and forth about the topic you can have. If you have any decent friends you could try doing something to meet people with them, and they can do the chit chat and explain you're jsut not much for chatting but still cool. This is based on how I've met people who are very quiet, I really cannot fathom your experience. Good luck
they're not missing anything, really. it is possible to develop deep connections with other people while only talking about what's strictly necessary. shared activities exist for a reason and have existed for millenia.
yes they are, bonds developed in different ways are different, obviously. I'll never know what a "silent conversation," gettin to know each other through action instead of speech, is like, so I am missing out on that. They miss deep chats and the feeling of someone else's voice in your head when you've spoken with them a lot. All of us miss something due to how we are as people, that's what it is to be human.
well, yes, but that isn't really what i think of with the term "missing out". "missing out" kind of implies they're committing some sort of grave error that will make their life worse than the alternative, not that it will give a different experienced as is expected with quite literally every small decision humans make ever
It is though. When you "miss out" on something that implies you've made a mistake on not choosing to participate in that thing. We describe a person who brought one movie to a desert island and watched The Room instead of some sort of masterpiece to be "missing out". We never say that about someone who takes another masterpiece instead, though, because they wouldn't be "missing out" because they could only choose one of those things in the first place, so it's unnecessary thing to point out, even though it's technically true. It's one of those annoying things where the phrase itself doesn't have any real implication like that, but in this context it does.
:jesse-wtf: weird-ass metaphor that makes no sense. I wouldn't say any of that, and I can't think of anyone that would. missing out just means not getting a particular experience. I missed out on some things because of covid, doesn't mean I made a mistake. I also missed out on hanging with a friend the other day because I had something else going on, it doesn't mean it's a mistake or can't be fixed.
If you tell a lactose intolerant person that they're "missing out" on ice cream, people will think you're an asshole (Ethics of ice cream aside). Not that you are one, it seems pretty obvious you didn't intend it that way, but I was just explaining why I read it the way I did.
That's cool, I just didn't appreciate the relatively small implication that I was weird for reading it that way (that you may not have intended of course, I'm sorry).
it sounds like you just don't like talking. I know plenty of people like this. I'm not really close with them, I'm a conversationalist and cannot stand silence most of the time, but they seem to be doing fine. If you're wondering if you're missing something, it's the deeper conversation you can access after having chatted with someone for a while, but you don't necessarily get that, or it isn't worth having, with everyone. It seems like dating figures into your difficulty connecting with people. Maybe look into a hobby that inherently involves multiple people, like sports, and just vibing with people doing that can get them more comfortable with you. You could look into things with more of a dialog to them like philosophy or literary critique, where there's more of a back and forth about the topic you can have. If you have any decent friends you could try doing something to meet people with them, and they can do the chit chat and explain you're jsut not much for chatting but still cool. This is based on how I've met people who are very quiet, I really cannot fathom your experience. Good luck
they're not missing anything, really. it is possible to develop deep connections with other people while only talking about what's strictly necessary. shared activities exist for a reason and have existed for millenia.
yes they are, bonds developed in different ways are different, obviously. I'll never know what a "silent conversation," gettin to know each other through action instead of speech, is like, so I am missing out on that. They miss deep chats and the feeling of someone else's voice in your head when you've spoken with them a lot. All of us miss something due to how we are as people, that's what it is to be human.
well, yes, but that isn't really what i think of with the term "missing out". "missing out" kind of implies they're committing some sort of grave error that will make their life worse than the alternative, not that it will give a different experienced as is expected with quite literally every small decision humans make ever
sorry you bring so much baggage to the term then, but that isn't what it means.
It is though. When you "miss out" on something that implies you've made a mistake on not choosing to participate in that thing. We describe a person who brought one movie to a desert island and watched The Room instead of some sort of masterpiece to be "missing out". We never say that about someone who takes another masterpiece instead, though, because they wouldn't be "missing out" because they could only choose one of those things in the first place, so it's unnecessary thing to point out, even though it's technically true. It's one of those annoying things where the phrase itself doesn't have any real implication like that, but in this context it does.
:jesse-wtf: weird-ass metaphor that makes no sense. I wouldn't say any of that, and I can't think of anyone that would. missing out just means not getting a particular experience. I missed out on some things because of covid, doesn't mean I made a mistake. I also missed out on hanging with a friend the other day because I had something else going on, it doesn't mean it's a mistake or can't be fixed.
If you tell a lactose intolerant person that they're "missing out" on ice cream, people will think you're an asshole (Ethics of ice cream aside). Not that you are one, it seems pretty obvious you didn't intend it that way, but I was just explaining why I read it the way I did.
I say shit like that all the time, and so do most of the folks I know. I also probably am an ass pretty often.
please end more posts ethics of ice cream aside.
That's cool, I just didn't appreciate the relatively small implication that I was weird for reading it that way (that you may not have intended of course, I'm sorry).
also I will