You know, I was being purposefully obtuse in my comment because I actually identify with your situation a lot.
I hate small talk, and I don't make any effort to talk with anyone that I don't find interesting. Something happened to me that changed my perspective, though.
Once at work, mid small talk, my coworker said "you really hate small talk, don't you?" And I said yeah, and he asked what I would prefer to talk about, and he gave some stuff he'd prefer to talk about, too. In one moment, we jumped from acquaintances to friends. You might be surprised what happens when you're just direct with people.
I think this idea that other people don't find you interesting is projection. And if they don't think you're interesting, then it's likely because they know nothing about you because you don't like sharing. If they know about you, and still think you're not interesting, then move on.
And I hate to be the 501st person to tell you this, but if you really want to engage with other humans, but you find every single one boring, then your depression is causing your antisocial behavior.
I had very serious mental health problems in my life, and I really hated the advice I would get. I fucking hate keeping a journal, and it doesn't work at all for me. My therapist wasn't helpful either.
BUT, there are a thousand other things you can try, and you need to try them. That process is really frustrating and it looks bleak, but you need to find what works for you, and nobody can tell you what that is.
You can grow past this, comrade, but it's going to take some effort and pain.
deleted by creator
You know, I was being purposefully obtuse in my comment because I actually identify with your situation a lot.
I hate small talk, and I don't make any effort to talk with anyone that I don't find interesting. Something happened to me that changed my perspective, though.
Once at work, mid small talk, my coworker said "you really hate small talk, don't you?" And I said yeah, and he asked what I would prefer to talk about, and he gave some stuff he'd prefer to talk about, too. In one moment, we jumped from acquaintances to friends. You might be surprised what happens when you're just direct with people.
I think this idea that other people don't find you interesting is projection. And if they don't think you're interesting, then it's likely because they know nothing about you because you don't like sharing. If they know about you, and still think you're not interesting, then move on.
And I hate to be the 501st person to tell you this, but if you really want to engage with other humans, but you find every single one boring, then your depression is causing your antisocial behavior.
I had very serious mental health problems in my life, and I really hated the advice I would get. I fucking hate keeping a journal, and it doesn't work at all for me. My therapist wasn't helpful either.
BUT, there are a thousand other things you can try, and you need to try them. That process is really frustrating and it looks bleak, but you need to find what works for you, and nobody can tell you what that is.
You can grow past this, comrade, but it's going to take some effort and pain.