I think you're right about the importance of matching teaching and learning styles. I was actually good at maths, but my approaches were often quite different from the curriculum's, and I always resented having to follow the prescribed paths for the sake of exams' marking schemes. It drained me of enthusiasm for the subject for years, so I can imagine how demoralising the mismatch might be for anyone who isn't getting right answers either.

There was a criticism of maths education I read years ago, so I can't remember the source, that a focus on calculation, which is easily tested, over imagination and understanding, which are not, but are more useful particularly at the research level, especially in the age of computers, was one of the central problems. So, yeah, there are educators who think people are being failed by this kind of thing, too.