LEGENDARY guitarist David Gilmour of the late band Pink Floyd was murdered today by a group of angry locals. According to witness reports, Gilmour was complaining that he didn’t order mushy peas with his fish and chips and was allegedly being abusive to staff, “It’s in a cup, don’t have it” one of the customers exclaimed. Things went south after Gilmour allegedly “threw the pae’s at the man’s head” and all hell broke loose, “everyone grabbed him and then shoved his head in the fryer whilst beating the rest of his body, he was dead in a few seconds” claims another witness. But locals aren’t really concerned for Gilmour’s passing, many of them celebrating his death, “he was proper rude, an absolute t**t… deserved” a woman added. “Hes music were shite and he were shite, who cares” adds another local.

Police are investigating the footage but have said in a statement that it’s too hard to decipher anything since the footage was recorded with dated technology.