Title mostly.
I'm doing fine right now, had an argument with my brother but overall I got my path forward ironed out, but I can't shake the feeling that all of what I do is just some pathological need to stumble forward into what I'm supposed to do but rather than actually being a meaningful calling or direction.
Maybe I'm just depressed.
Yeah, I'm fundamentally unsettled greatly by death though so riding it out feels like crap to me.
Like I have a clock to find meaning and I better hope I do before it runs out.
I see. wishing you luck then, comrade.