Title mostly.
I'm doing fine right now, had an argument with my brother but overall I got my path forward ironed out, but I can't shake the feeling that all of what I do is just some pathological need to stumble forward into what I'm supposed to do but rather than actually being a meaningful calling or direction.
Maybe I'm just depressed.
Yes but what I'm supposed to do was determined by me to be:
Unfortunately this in itself forces me into a path I have little conviction or desire for, but so far it seems like it was worth it.