Title mostly.
I'm doing fine right now, had an argument with my brother but overall I got my path forward ironed out, but I can't shake the feeling that all of what I do is just some pathological need to stumble forward into what I'm supposed to do but rather than actually being a meaningful calling or direction.
Maybe I'm just depressed.
I think this feeling is shared by 80-90% of people at minimum.
Personally, I've never found a way to do something meaningful (like, materially help people) that would also keep me and my disabled family members out of debilitating poverty. So I have no choice but to dedicate my working days to unethical profit-making shit.