The book suggests that the defining problem driving out most people who leave is … just how American life works in the 21st century. Contemporary America simply isn’t set up to promote mutuality, care, or common life. Rather, it is designed to maximize individual accomplishment as defined by professional and financial success. Such a system leaves precious little time or energy for forms of community that don’t contribute to one’s own professional life or, as one ages, the professional prospects of one’s children. Workism reigns in America, and because of it, community in America, religious community included, is a math problem that doesn’t add up.
This was a conclusion I came to myself because Sin = being bad = adults mad ergo not doing homework = sin, being too loud = sin, etc.
Eventually I think I internalized the notion that I deserve to suffer, otherwise I wouldn't be suffering so badly. And stopped trying to get what I want out of life.
that's pretty messed up I'm sorry you went through that