MORRISEY infamous for his far right screeds on twitter has died at the age of 63. The lead singer of 80s alt-rock band The Smiths has gained notoriety throughout social media platforms and even former band mates, Johnny Marr who was lead guitarist for the group turned to twitter “celebrating” his former band mate’s death. “A once in a lifetime occasion like this is cause for celebration” he tweeted but later removed after being slated online by devout Morrissey fans who think Marr went too far.
Morrissey was a frequent traveler to Spain and spent a lot of the time in various resorts and villas. An employee of the resort his body was found at spoke to us about the late singer and how much of a nuisance he was, “he was a very nasty and rude person and he had no respect for any of the staff, almost like we were below him… he just wouldn’t acknowledge us or treat us with any dignity. Towels would come back with brown stains, bed sheets too, one time he smashed all the windows and started throwing glass bottles so we were forced to close the pool down for the day because it was too dangerous. The manager didn’t care he just said “Morrissey is money” and that was it, he didn’t care for our well-being either. After he left the resort and it was time to clean we needed about three of us to complete the task and to throw things out, it was too much work for one person it would have taken hours. He also smelled of poo a lot of the time. He was horrible and I’m glad he isn’t coming back.”
Witnesses at the scene claim that Morrisey was in the tub “laughing obnoxiously” with fans, “about 5 other people in there with him” says Hannah Smith, who was also on holiday at the resort. “He was being loud and I think it’s because he was drunk, he kept trying to show off and kept singing his songs. People would be in mid conversation and he would just start saying ‘I am the son and heir of nothing in particular’ from that one sh*te song he did. I think he thought it was cool because he wouldn’t laugh but I think everyone would just feel awkward. I was getting a headache so I decided to leave but that’s when I heard people from the tub moaning and jumping out. One of the lads was walking in my direction and he just kept repeating ‘he shat in the pool, Morrissey shat in the pool’. I smirked a bit and then went to my room. I didn’t know he died but whatever.”
The coroners report concluded that Morrissey had a blood alcohol level of 0.36% and had died of asphyxia from water in the lungs. He also had a cirrhosis, a small tumor in the testicles, and a blockage in the small intestine.
RIP Morrissey
The P is for Piss