I see beople boasting about beanis and how beautiful it is to have beanis. This makes me feel a bit bad because I don’t have beanis. I ask my bro with beanis how did you get beanis? And bro says I don’t know I guess I was born with beanis. This baffles me, how can some be born with beanis and others not? That’s badly unfair right? So now I bother the benevolent beanis experts on this badposting forum to ask: how do I acquire beanis?

For illustrative purposes, here is me right now (no beanis): and here is beanis I wish to acquire:

Here is me if I were to acquire beanis: