text here

  • mustGo [any]
    ·
    6 months ago
    • download every episode of Winnie the Poo
    • navigate to Tienanmen Square daily
    • record yourself feeding sparrows every morning

    You will be immediately classified as a high threat target and directly monitored by Xi Jinping.

    • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      6 months ago

      It's true, I did this and Xi used Juche necromancy (which he learned from the evil Kim Jong un) to resurrect Mao, who then proceeded to make me endure a struggle session and then sent me to the countryside to chop trees.

  • coolusername@lemmy.ml
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    Make sure to not have anything google-related installed. Google is CIA

    Definitely don't use twitter of Facebook as well. The firm that manages authentication for Twitter is Israeli intelligence