The comparison is layered and not as simple as the two being the same. But I've found that people have a way of closing themselves off to things that are going on. On hexbear, if you don't read the comments of a post about comments that have been deemed a struggle session, you may have no clue even if you saw parts of the original. IRL, if you aren't part of the drama that's going on, don't hang out with the gossipy (not saying this as an insult) types and don't ask the sort of questions that inquire about drama, you won't find out.

I'll posit that you're probably a more central or more present part of your organisation than most people saying "this doesn't happen irl" are of theirs.