https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/05/070510151916.htm

https://phys.org/news/2010-04-microbes-natural-asphalt-lake.html

https://www.livescience.com/1515-asphalt-munching-bacteria-discovered.html

The weird little bastards are eating metal and petrochemicals!

As a bonus, here are fungi that eat hard ionizing radiation, including in the radioactive core of the Chernobyl NPP

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radiotrophic_fungus

We're gonna make it. Well, maybe not us, but someone is definitely gonna make it.