Got back from family vacation, got on the dreaded Facebook, found out the woman who was my first gf 12 years ago, and subsequently a friend I talked to pretty frequently, had died of liver failure at 33 years old.
Looking back on it, when she was drinking 12 years ago it just seemed like a fun time. I didn't know she sustained that pace for a decade plus. Some other things took a toll too, like an eating disorder.
Anyways, I am fuckin sad, fuck alcohol, it's as bad as heroin but capitalism gotta make that $$$$$
Stay strong comrade. It's not about total abstinence so much as trying to reduce consumption. At least, that's always been my attitude. I've seen people fall off once and then say fuck it and go on benders because of it and I don't think it's helpful to live in that binary.
For me it was about abstaining but I slipped... again. I wish I could trust myself to have like a social beer or whatever here and there but it always ends up me buying a bunch and then losing control over it. Gonna just not buy it again because I can't be around it.