I was kinda on a nostalgia trip and I stumbled on Jennifer Lopez's Waiting for Tonight, and it's basically about how she wants to fuck her partner. It could be more romantic in nature, and for some people it is, but looking at the repression in the West, it's very racy for its time.

But I ask: Why is it considered bad for straight men to want to listen to a song about how a woman wants to fuck? Volcel Pledge, notwithstanding.

I mean I know the answer is systemic misogyny, but like it doesn't even make sense?

It's so bizarre to me as a queer person attracted to men that men and boys are discouraged from listening to musicians who are women.

I'd have loved growing up with musicians I'm attracted to who were attracted to my gender.

I sorta want to explore this experience as an outsider, but I'm curious, what was that like? Did you listen to artists you liked in secret? How are your music tastes now? Any recommendations on music that feels different on a revisit?

  • TheLepidopterists [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    I sorta want to explore this experience as an outsider, but I'm curious, what was that like?

    I don't think I really thought of my tastes based on the gender of the performer in my youth, I just was into Linkin Park and adjacent stuff because I was an edgy 13 year old rejecting my mom, but to be honest "and adjacent stuff" didn't include many (any?) female performers. As a ~9 year old I did hate Hansen because a girl I liked liked them (I couldn't explain how that makes sense, it seems absurd to me in retrospect also), but they were all dudes (target audience was young girls though IIRC). By the time I was making my own listening choices (as a kid, had no influence on the car radio) I didn't hate pop, just didn't really seek it out. Hated 80s stuff because my mom only listened to that and "praise songs" but I've grown out of that.

    Did you listen to artists you liked in secret?

    Except to the degree that I was avoiding getting my CDs snapped in half for being "Satanic" no.

    How are your music tastes now?

    Indie rock/pop mostly. Favorite bands have a mix of male and female vocalists (Stars, San Fermin) some are fronted only by women (Misterwives, Lake Street Dive, Purity Ring, Lucius).

    Any recommendations on music that feels different on a revisit?

    I like 80s music okay now I guess? Just the hits, don't seek it out so I don't know any niche stuff. I definitely recognize that my earlier ill feelings toward it were tied up in "anything my evangelical mom likes is bad by virtue of her liking it."