No fictional characters. Sorry, Grandpa Joe haters.
Jesus, just for the bragging rights.
(Many scholars believe him to be a real person, but with a bit overstating and inaccurate literature associated with him)
Ron DeSantis.
I'm angrier at Rupert Murdoch, but DeSantis would have more of a positive effect.
Matt Walsh. As much shit as that guy talks about LGBTQ people = groomers, you just know that this gross fucking turd has some interesting "research" saved on his hard drive. Outside of Steven Crowder I've never seen someone project so hard as this creep
Fucking Abbott. He started the ruining of women's abortion rights after roe v wade was overturned and everyone followed suit. I'd fight Kemp too cause he's also ruining things. My friends are afraid of dying form bot being able to get an abortion and child victims of rape don't have access anymore.
About 75,000 years ago humans almost went extinct. I'd fight whomever their John Conner was.
I know I probably won't win a fight with most adults, so I'd probably go with Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair just so I can easily win.
Though, if it's him in his prime I'd have to fight, I'd change my answer to just any old random baby that died of SIDS just so I can win and feel good about it.
Abraham Lincoln.
Not for any reasons against the man, or the expectation that I have even half a hope of getting a solid strike in, but I've read of the man's fighting and wrestling experience. They like bringing up his long build as an advantage.
Me and Lincoln are going to fight the proper Orang way. On the deck of a ship in open waters, with a single knife each. We can come to an agreement on victory conditions.
French president Chirac, for laying waste to my home and its members.