There are a lot of news articles about "back to the office", but they recirculate the same bad ideas. Let's provide some new ideas for the media to circulate. It may also have the effect of making the office less terrible.
I would like my work computer to do Windows updates lightning quick in the office. It currently takes weeks, in or out of the office. Stopping in for a day makes no difference, so there is no point. Now, if there was a point, I would go in.
What would get you in the office?
That sounds very satisfying, wow! I swear to god, half the meetings I attend are just soooo unproductive. Talk about this project, where we were, where we are, where we are going. But it always ends up that I have to jog people's memory, ask why what was supposed to get done didn't and when it will be. Rinse and repeat. I love that approach, makes people accountable and saves everyone's time.
As for jogging people's memories...
So whenever i have to get approval from higher ups that i know they will forget and get annoyed about it i ask that they all stand up and state "i agree / approve to XYZ." People will laugh and say "really?!?".
At my last job one of my bosses decided on something that went against what all us in engineering said. So i told him to stand up in front of everyone and say "i acknowledge that this goes against the suggestions by engineering but I would like the team to implement.... whatever the feature was." Two months later he came to a meeting all pissed about how this feature wasn't working and when he saw me enter the meeting he said "fuck, this is my fault isn't it?"
That is fucking brilliant!
Ever have someone deny they said it?
Nope not so far. It's always in a meeting with other people, make it a little awkward and everyone remembers so no one denied it as they know others won't deny it.