At various points in my life, my understanding of that grew and grew. I'm sure there will be a point soon where I fear my future twice as much as I do now.
Sometime in early-to-mid university when I realized that college in the US is just a glorified and expensive High School degree which doesn't get you much, and that being smart was not enough to get what you dreamed or felt you deserved in life. Then I had to struggle to not just drop out from total disillusionment. I finished just to not disappoint my family but was terribly depressed realizing it was a waste of time and money and my life was going to fucking suck after it was over. I wasn't wrong.
If you're not born rich then you need to be incredibly lucky, if you're not either then life will be really tough.
this experience started my understanding that the people in charge are no different than you or I and will do anything to protect themselves and their power at all costs sometimes and doing so will usually work for them.
When I realized that a lot of people will be difficult, and add trauma to your life, for no gain to themselves. I was like 9 years old. I'm 48 now, and still, fuck those people.
