you're a peasant and the year is uh, fuckin 80 or something. jesus is dead but hasn't been for all too long. you also don't know what a jesus is.

scratch that, you're a goblin now.

what do you do?

current status:

level 1 goblin

hp: 4/4 (8 base, -2 from worms, -2 from tired)

stealth: 3

shenanigans: 1

status: is a goblin, below average amount of worms in intestines, tired (Just ran back and forth from dennis and the castle over and over)

atk: 4.25 (3.25 base, 2 from goblin sized dagger, -1 from tired)

inventory

Sturdy Looking Stick (.25 atk)

Goblin Sized Dagger (2 Atk, Equipped)

1 Ye Flask (Flask adorned with Kanye West) which contains brimstone, salt, and coal all crushed together. It's not a bomb.

10 ounces of saltpeter

notes

location: outside of castle

drew a weiner with poop on a castle wall. same spot you pissed on actually.

  • hexaglycogen [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    29 days ago

    you look around. you're in a public space in your village or hamlet or settlement or whatever.

    there's some other peasants, someone's peeing in a ditch and someone's swallowing an entire orange.

    about 800 meters away there is a castle, though, you don't see any obvious nobility just lounging about.

      • hexaglycogen [he/him, they/them]
        ·
        29 days ago

        alright, you roll a 13.

        you successfully manage to jog for 5 minutes, then release your bladder onto the castle walls. nobody's really at this part of the castle walls.

        your piss does smell bad, but you have also never showered in your life, so, to you it doesn't smell like much of anything.