you're a peasant and the year is uh, fuckin 80 or something. jesus is dead but hasn't been for all too long. you also don't know what a jesus is.
scratch that, you're a goblin now.
what do you do?
current status:
level 1 goblin
hp: 4/4 (8 base, -2 from worms, -2 from tired)
stealth: 3
shenanigans: 1
status: is a goblin, below average amount of worms in intestines, tired (Just ran back and forth from dennis and the castle over and over)
atk: 4.25 (3.25 base, 2 from goblin sized dagger, -1 from tired)
inventory
Sturdy Looking Stick (.25 atk)
Goblin Sized Dagger (2 Atk, Equipped)
1 Ye Flask (Flask adorned with Kanye West) which contains brimstone, salt, and coal all crushed together. It's not a bomb.
10 ounces of saltpeter
notes
location: outside of castle
drew a weiner with poop on a castle wall. same spot you pissed on actually.
unfortunately there's not that much dung in this area, as you are right outside of the castle walls and someone cleans up any poop that shows up.
you do find a single rolled up ball from a dung beetle. the beetle is upset about this.
you have obtained 1x small dung ball.
Eat dung ball
the peasant you are sending these thoughts to think that this isn't a good idea. What do you do?
I'll show this peasant who's in charge here. Wander the walls until you see someone remotely clean looking and hand them the dung ball at if it's a treasured heirloom
you roll a 10.
you manage to find one of the workers tending to the exterior of the castle and hand them the dung ball, telling them to treasure this.
they ask you to leave the premises.
I do not, and i stare at the dung in their hand expectantly. I refuse and resist any attempts to remove me
the worker simply walks away. Do you follow them, or wish to do something else?
I want my poop back if they're not going to appreciate it
they never actually took it sorry if i was misleading at all
Oh, then i eat it
you try again to convince the peasant to eat the dung ball.
they still don't think it's a very good idea. perhaps you could convince them?
apologies, you already used it to draw a weiner on the side of the castle. you can try to find a new one.