you're a peasant and the year is uh, fuckin 80 or something. jesus is dead but hasn't been for all too long. you also don't know what a jesus is.
scratch that, you're a goblin now.
what do you do?
current status:
level 1 goblin
hp: 4/4 (8 base, -2 from worms, -2 from tired)
stealth: 3
shenanigans: 1
status: is a goblin, below average amount of worms in intestines, tired (Just ran back and forth from dennis and the castle over and over)
atk: 4.25 (3.25 base, 2 from goblin sized dagger, -1 from tired)
inventory
Sturdy Looking Stick (.25 atk)
Goblin Sized Dagger (2 Atk, Equipped)
1 Ye Flask (Flask adorned with Kanye West) which contains brimstone, salt, and coal all crushed together. It's not a bomb.
10 ounces of saltpeter
notes
location: outside of castle
drew a weiner with poop on a castle wall. same spot you pissed on actually.
you enter the dennis and ask for a "weird old wizard"
the lady at the front looks at you strangely.
become goblin
you... fucking hell. you roll a 20.
I'M NOT KIDDING. I WANTED TO KEEP THIS RELATIVELY GROUNDED. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO JUST MAKE GOBLIN NOISES AND GET KICKED OUT OF THE DENNIS.
okay you're a goblin now. i know that technically there isn't a 5% chance of manifesting goblinhood but, fine, whatever, we're a goblin now.
status: +is a goblin
+2 atk, -2hp
+3 stealth
+1 shenanigans (schemes, chicanery, hijinx etc. become more effective)
+goblin sized dagger (+2 atk)
+hoo hoo hee hee