you're a peasant and the year is uh, fuckin 80 or something. jesus is dead but hasn't been for all too long. you also don't know what a jesus is.
scratch that, you're a goblin now.
what do you do?
current status:
level 1 goblin
hp: 4/4 (8 base, -2 from worms, -2 from tired)
stealth: 3
shenanigans: 1
status: is a goblin, below average amount of worms in intestines, tired (Just ran back and forth from dennis and the castle over and over)
atk: 4.25 (3.25 base, 2 from goblin sized dagger, -1 from tired)
inventory
Sturdy Looking Stick (.25 atk)
Goblin Sized Dagger (2 Atk, Equipped)
1 Ye Flask (Flask adorned with Kanye West) which contains brimstone, salt, and coal all crushed together. It's not a bomb.
10 ounces of saltpeter
notes
location: outside of castle
drew a weiner with poop on a castle wall. same spot you pissed on actually.
Smoke pipeweed
You rolled an 18, which is good but not enough to spontaneously generate an item you don't have.
Throw pippin in mount doom