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don't panic. find the nearest door and be in it
e: you'll get through this
Don't listen to this poster. Find the nearest rock and flip it over, underneath you will find a newt, this newt will guide you, his name is Steven.
don't listen to this poster. the rock was a test and the newt was a trap--you passed. face the northern sky and whisper thanks to the Star Mother.
your next task is to get dressed. please look around for any leaves or branches that look like they might be obscuring a haunted chifforobe.