it's really become some nastybones business in the last couple few years. Like a totalizing thing that affects most of the things I do. In the course of writing this post I'm doing repetitions and that's just normal at this point. I frequently curate upvotes on my posts so they're not bad numbers. It's to the point where I have to go back and forth between tabs or closing and opening them to make sure it's not a bad number. It's even such that I am policing my motions with my hands so they're not bad. Even in the body of this post, I'm counting as much as I can in service of avoiding certain numbers of sentences or repetitions of words.
Anyway, how do you all experience this disease and how do you cope with it?
Just to like, put it out there I guess. It seems super fucking obvious but I know firsthand how hard it is. You do need to not engage your triggers. There will be a lot of discomfort. It is going to suck. But I don't think there's any other way to deal with compulsive behaviors. They seem important because repetition makes your brain treat them as important.
What is to be done then? Well, we gotta just sit with that discomfort that happens when we deny a trigger. You don't actually need to do the behavior. I'll go first by making this paragraph an uncomfortable number of sentences for me.
Eventually, it won't be so bad.