minus-squareThermonuclearEgg [she/her, they/them]hexbear29·7 hours agoActive voice first. "A car on the train tracks caused an East LA Metro train to derail" link
minus-squareRNAi [he/him]hexagonhexbear14·7 hours agoI like hearing the important part first, here being "train derails" link
minus-squareThermonuclearEgg [she/her, they/them]hexbear14·6 hours agoFair enough but establishing a causative form is critical here. As written, the train is to blame for striking the car in the same way a car is to blame for striking the pedestrian. link
Active voice first.
"A car on the train tracks caused an East LA Metro train to derail"
I like hearing the important part first, here being "train derails"
Fair enough but establishing a causative form is critical here. As written, the train is to blame for striking the car in the same way a car is to blame for striking the pedestrian.