"And, obviously, price is the SOLE mechanism we have to limit purchases. I mean, sure, we could simply not allow one dude to back up a dumptruck to push 10,000 rolls of toilet paper into-"

*crowd interrupts with cheers*

"But-BUT that would be Un-American and communist! And my father died fighting those commies!

"So that will be $65 a roll if you want to wipe your ass"