I mean - consider for a second that we currently have the most comprehensive martial arts practice in all of history, with the largest humans, best sports science, and all that.

Any top UFC fighter from the past decade could probably beat the fuck out of anyone ever before the year 1980. Isn't that wild? Dudes who have (probably) watched Rick and Morty could beat the piss out of Alexander The Great or whoever the fuck. And it wouldn't even be close.

Biting and eye gouging is banned of course, but even if it wasn't, Brock Lesnar isn't letting you even get close to that. I mean, speaking of Brock, even big pro wrestlers - medieval blokes would shit their pants on sight if they saw Scott Steiner going freakmode off the roids. Perc Angle. Big Show - like what - he's a literal giant.

But what about Mark Zuckerberg? He's a big guy. He does his MMA. I think give him a month to train and send him back in time. Hate to hand it to him, but he would crush.

  • Speaker [e/em/eir]
    ·
    19 hours ago

    Counterpoint: if a freakish giant with a bad haircut shows up in your village, you put the wolves and witch hunters on them. You do not spend literal years translating the UFC rule book to build a steel cage for a monster unless you intend to keep him there until he strokes out.

    Also, as I understand it, the roid regimen has to be kept up or your conquering titan will, within a week or two, be reduced to a quivering mess as they enter adrenal crisis and probably the worst depressive episode of their lives.

    There's simply no profit in actually fighting the barbarian when you can simply wait for the Hyde potion to wear off and then push him into a river.